


The Art Of Forviging According To Kim Minseok

by evilnesquik



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Drama, Famous, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-08 01:23:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6833125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evilnesquik/pseuds/evilnesquik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is what happens when your celebrity crush is the kid you used to bully during high school</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Art Of Forviging According To Kim Minseok

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Lumination here: http://theluminations.livejournal.com/5446.html ! I'm creating an archive~

“And now let me introduce the guest you were all waiting for. He’s a talented singer, dancer and actor and everyone knows him as the Korean gem. Let’s give a warm welcome to Xiumin!”

The young man entered the room showing his famous smile to the cameras and waving happily, while the sound of recorded cheers invaded the place. Xiumin sat on a tall stool in front the host and covered his ears with a pair of headphones.

“So, how are you, Xiumin? I bet you’re doing fine”

The guest smiled again, small teeth and pink gum appearing.

“Well, Ryeowook, you know, I can’t really complain, but as everyone I have my own problems”

“Like being too adorable and pretty?”

The singer giggled a little and tried to playfully hit the other.

“Yah! Why are you like this?! Stop speaking about my problems and let’s talk about your audience’s ones. I am here for that after all, am I not?”

“Oh, yes you are! Let’s start”. The mc took a tablet settled near him and started reading an e-mail

“Hi, my name is Minha and I’m 16 years old. I’m Xiumin’s number one fan, but don’t worry I also love you, Ryeowook. I’m coming right to the point, my problem is that I’m fat. I’m ugly and people keep bullying me. I want to diet, but it’s too hard, do you have any advice? Thank you, Minha”

For one second Xiumin’s face deepened but he soon returned to smile before giving his advice.

“My dear Minha, I know it’s hard, but you have to stay strong. I speak from experience, when you’re a teenager you still have to grow up and it’s no rare to be awkward or chubby. I was too and I had been bullied as well. Usually going to school is very stressful and it also occupies a large part of your day. You must not stop eating but believe me if I say that when you’ll be less stressed and busy, you’ll find the time and energy to work out and eat healthily.”

Ryeowook shook his head almost shocked. “You have been bullied? It’s very hard to believe! You know that if you reveal the names of those people they’ll be the most hated persons in the country?”

Xiumin shrugged “These things happened a lot of years ago and I’m pretty sure no one of them would recognize me today. See, my dear Minha, things get better!” and then he added with a wink “Hwaiting!”

They spent the next 15 minutes answering e-mails. It really was more tiring than what Xiumin would have thought and the young man let out a sigh of relief when a commercial break was announced.

His manager and bodyguard were already waiting for him. When he was close enough to them, the shorter one smiled at him and went to take a bottle of water while saying “You’re doing great!”

As soon as the man was far enough from them, his giant bodyguard turned to him “Yeah, you’re doing great. It almost looked like you don’t care anymore about those bullies”

“Because I do not care, Yifan”

Kris was smirking “I know you too well, Minseok”

 

*

 

Luhan scoffed, hearing the words of that silly girl. She wasn’t Xiumin’s number one fan. He was.

In another moment, he would have bashed that poor girl, but right now, he focused on that story about his celebrity crush’s bullies. It was beyond his comprehension how someone could hurt such a perfect creature.

Luhan heard some steps coming closer to his room and the sound of his door opening.

“Luhan, what are--- please tell me you’re not watching Xiumin again”

Annoyed, Luhan turned to look at his roommate. “Yixing, be quiet, please. This is a live program so of course I’m watching it”

Yixing sighed. He knew there was nothing to do when it came to that topic. “Okay, I guess. I’m heading to the restaurant right now because we have to clean up and prepare things for the opening”

Luhan wasn’t even paying him attention anymore, too concentrated on watching the screen, but his friend didn’t mind; he had gotten used to this, as he had gotten used to seeing Xiumin’s face on the walls, on the blankets and generally on everything in Luhan’s room and occasionally also around the other rooms of their house. If they hadn’t been friends since college he would have ditched him.

 

*

 

Luhan knew it. It was strange for a grown-up man to be so obsessed over a celebrity, but he couldn’t help it. He had been dazzled by the star since the first time he saw him on an ad’s poster while he was walking down the street and now the young man’s smile was everything he had in mind. Even while watching soccer matches he couldn’t help but think about Xiumin, about how nice it would have been to share this interest with him, how nice it would have been sit next each other on the couch eating and drinking, how nice it would have been to hug (and maybe also kiss) him after a Man U goal.

Luhan knew they were meant for each other.

He just had to figure out how to meet the singer and make him fall for him.

 

*

 

“Sungjae, I’ve seen that! If I say run 4 times around the field, you ran 4 times around the field without stopping or shorten the route! Once you’re finished there I want to see you doing 30 sit-ups!”

Luhan was screaming at the top of his lungs. Sometimes you have to get though with kids. Especially if one of them is Sungjae.

If years ago someone had said him that he was going to teach soccer, he would have scrunched his noses. With his sports ability, perfect grades and pretty face, everyone expected him to become someone, once finished high school. For some time, he thought that too. At least before he got lost in the jungle of courses and exams that is college. Without even realizing it, he had found himself teaching to a bunch of hyperactive children how to run after a ball in a decent way.

He was still absorbed in his thoughts when he realized his pocket was vibrating.

“What the hell Yixing?! You know can’t call me when I’m at work. I hope this is a real emergency”

From the other end of the phone, an irritated voice answered him. “I call you to give you the best news of your life and you talk to me like this? What the hell, man?!”

Luhan snorted “ If it’s so important, speak”

“Do you remember that I told you the company is going to pay a celebrity for appearing at opening? Well, that celebrity is going to be Xiumin”

Yixing was waiting for his friend to scream, but he heard nothing but silence so he began to slowly repeat his friend’s name; after some seconds, he heard a whisper

“I need to be there”

 

*

 

Luhan was surprised by how fast the best day of his life had became the worse one.

When Yixing told him he had managed to made the company hire him as help just for the opening day, Luhan had expected that they would have used his handsome face to attract customers, but the role they had thought for him was actually very different.

The back of the restaurant was hot and the synthetic fabric of the uniform was stick to his skin and made movements uncomfortable. Luhan had never been ashamed to admit that he was handsome and he had always thought everything could look good on him, but he was wrong. That uniform would have been able to make the most attractive person in the whole world look ugly.

He was so immersed in his thoughts that the loud sounds of dishes that someone left rudely next to him made him jump.

With a sigh, he started to put them under the water and then in the washing machine. He had been so thrilled about this event, and now the disappointment was hurting even more.

He was stuck where no one could see him and there were no chances for him to even steal a glance at his precious singer. Probably it was better that way since he looked so ugly with that clothes on and the hours of work had left their sign on his face and now dark circles could be seen under his eyes.

He could heard the sounds of all the people in the other room and his co-workers were running around like crazy, trying to be as fast as possible. Honestly he didn’t care about that job so he was just doing slowly what they told him, with almost no effort.

Then he heard it.

The crowd in the other room screamed and he understood.

He was there. Xiumin had just arrived.

Luhan felt like crying, but he had been working for 7 hours straight and was too tired even for that.

He was so close to see him, so close to talk to him, so close to make him notice him, yet he couldn’t.

He wasn’t even angry nor with his employer nor with Yixing who suggested him for that job. He was just sad, disappointed and exhausted.

The volume of Xiumin’s microphone was so loud that even from the noisy kitchen Luhan could easily heard him and he was still sad but as always, that voice had the power to make him relaxed and calm. Just hearing him giggle and speaking was enough to make his guts turn. Without even realizing it, he stopped to wash dishes and slowly turned towards the door, to try to spot his celebrity crush.

He didn’t even have the time to make two steps that his supervisor jelled at him and he had to start to work again.

Life is so unfair sometimes.

Unfortunately, soon Xiumin’s voice stopped and his job returned to be as boring as before. The only thing he could do was wondering if the star was still there or not. For sure, he had better things to do than wasting his precious time at a stupid fast food opening but still…Luhan couldn’t help but wish that maybe the star would have been still there at the end of his turn.

 

When finally the clock showed he was free, Luhan quickly got rid of the apron and made his way towards the other room.

Yixing was serving a client, smiling widely. The older didn’t waste time, waiting his turn and run to his friend to ask him “Where is he?”

He expected for his friend to point where Xiumin was, but as he feared, the other just shacked his head and told him “Man, he has just left---“

If before hearing this Luhan was disappointed, now he was definitely heartbroken. He had missed him. He was so close to meet Xiumin, but in the end he couldn’t even see him from far away, like it happened at the fansigns and concerts he attended. He wanted one chance, just one to attire his attention but his efforts hadn’t been enough.

He slowly made his way towards the staff exit since the fast food restaurant was packed and he had no energy to walk through the crowd. Once he took his things, he decided to sit for a moment on the stairs outside the door to clear his mind.

He was still sitting there, trying to process that he had worked for 8 hours in a shitty fast food for nothing, when someone opened the door, hitting him.

Luhan was turning towards the idiot to yell at him

“I’m so sorry! I should have checked and opened the door slowly! Did I hurt you?”

Luhan was frozen.

Xiumin was in front of him.

The entertainment was so beautiful with his eyebrows furrowed and on his face there was a worried expression who made him look even cuter and Luhan wanted to kiss it away to make him smile.

“Eeeehrr…I’m fine. Thank you. For apologizing, not for hitting me. But I’m not mad cause you hit me! Really! But just don’t do that again”

Good job Luhan, the young man thought, this is the kind of first impression you wished for.

Xiumin giggled and Luhan was so shocked by the events that wasn’t able to do anything.

“Can I do anything for you? Do you need some ice? Anything?”

After the disaster of his first attempt at speaking, Luhan didn’t trust his mouth anymore and just shook his head.

Xiumin smiled “Well, if you’re okay, I’ll go first. Just… do you know where the staff toilette is? They told me I can use it”

Luhan didn’t know how, but with a lot of effort, he managed to whispers

“Down the hall on the right”

Xiumin thanked him and made a move to walk away

“WAIT!” Luhan practically screamed but then he returned to whisper “can I have your autograph?”

Minseok flashed his famous smile and, after signing his phone cover, he was walking away when he turned and tilted his head.

“Have I met you before?”

Luhan felt his chest warming up as he heard that words, because he had always tried to attend every Xiumin’s concert and fansigns and apparently, the star had noticed him among the other fans and still remembered him.

Still stumbling into his words, Luhan answered “Well, I’ve been to your concerts and so…”

Minseok’s laugh interrupted him and even if usually Luhan hated it, when someone didn’t let him finish a sentence, he can’t get angry at him, not when his laugh was so melodious and refreshing.

“Nope! I wasn’t thinking about that. I’m sure we met a lot of years ago. Should I be offended because you forgot about me?!”

Luhan was going to apologize, over and over again without even noticing how playful the other’s words sounded but Xiumin immediately started to talk again

“Don’t worry! I’ve changed a lot so I can’t really get mad at you. But you, you are still the same”

Luhan couldn’t stop the words stumbled out his mouth

“Give me your number and I’ll call you as soon as I remember” it was the right moment to bet it all.

Xiumin’s eyes widened and Luhan realized that maybe he dared too much, that now the singer had to think he was a stupid lecher and…

“I can’t give you my phone, you know, privacy reasons, but what about my e-mail?”

Without even waiting for an answer, the Korean man took a business card out of one of his pocket and wrote something on it. He gave it to the other while bowing.

Luhan was left there with a card in his hand and a shocked expression on his face.

 

*

 

The blankets were rough against Luhan’s skin and they felt almost unbearable as he turned himself over and over again under the duvet.

The clock showed it was almost 3.30 am and he wasn’t even barely close to fall asleep. He had literary spent hours thinking about his meeting with Xiumin. As soon as the wonder vanished, he was left full of excitement and joy. He couldn’t believe his plan actually worked and he managed to impress the singer.

He spent the whole evening, trying to recollect memories from the afternoon and remembering how beautiful his celebrity crush was, since this had been the first time he had seen him so close and for such a long time. Xiumin was perfect, he was everything he could dream of.

When also the adrenaline started to disappear, he suddenly felt so tired but as soon as he laid down, ready to sleep, he remembered Xiumin’s words.

He couldn’t believe that.

Luhan was sure that he would have definitely remembered the guy, if he had met him before.

But still…

It wasn’t possible that the star was trying to catch his attention with such a lame excuse. Even Luhan wasn’t so self-centred to believe that Xiumin needed such a technique to impress him and give him his contacts.

As soon as he realized it, Luhan’s nightmare started.

He tried to remember every single person he had met in his life.

He thought about his friends in kindergarten and in elementary school when he was still living in China, he thought about his high school clique, he thought about the people he used to party with back in college. He even tried to remember if one of the kids of football school was related to the entertainer. But nothing. He couldn’t even find a name.

He didn’t want to give up but it was so late and he was too tired, so, finally, he started to snooze off, while thinking about Xiumin’s smile.

 

He curled up under the duvet, remembering his eyes, his smile… his smile.

Suddenly he realized Xiumin’s smile gave him a weird sensation, like something he had seen before. That was it. It was the kay to remember.

With a last effort he tried to figure out who was the other person with a similar smile, all small teeth and pink gummy.

 

His eyes snapped open as the realization hit him harder than ever.

The chubby weird kid who attended his high school.

 

Luhan felt sick.

 

*

 

Morning arrived too fast and Luhan cursed at himself because as always, he forgot to close the curtains and the sunlight was so strong that he really couldn’t keep sleeping.

As soon as the hot coffee started to go down his throat and to making his brain function, he also began to think about what to write in that damn e-mail.

He wanted to apologize for not being nice to him during high school, but he didn’t want it to sound like he was just doing that because Xiumin was now a celebrity – he still couldn’t remember his real name-. He didn’t want to sound desperate or cold either. In addition, was Xiumin the type who like emoticon or he’ll end up looking stupid adding them?

It was the most difficult thing he had ever wrote in his whole life.

 

The free space on Luhan’s mail account was rapidly running out as he kept writing new drafts. After hours of useless work, he couldn’t help but to feel discouraged and tired, so tired that words had started to create strange kind of spirals into his head and he was barely able to put together a sensate sentence. His head was aching like hell and he barely knew what he was doing, he didn’t even realized what time it was.

He had spent four hours trying to write that stupid letter without a result and now he was almost late for work. He quickly selected the last draft he wrote and, before he could repent it, he select “send”.

He felt nothing. As he walked down the stairs and then in the streets, he felt like he was blocked inside a bubble, which prevented him to hear clearly the sounds and to understand what was going on around him.

He has just sent an e-mail to the one and only Xiumin and it was such a stupid one. He was so going to be ignored by the entertainer. He was sure that the star was going to laugh at him and then he would have read it out loud to all his celebrity friends and they were going to laugh together and Luhan was going to be even more miserable than he was now.

But now there was no going back.

 

*

 

Luhan spent all the day looking at his phone and checking at his mail, waiting for an answer, but he didn’t receive anything. Since he had sent that letter, he had started to prepare himself for this, for the rejection, for being ignored but still…he would have never admitted it but he still hoped to be proved wrong.

It was almost 1am and Luhan was watching a movie with Yixing since he had forced his best friend to distract him. In the darkness of the room, the bright light of his phone’s screen became even more evident and Luhan’s heart skipped a bit as he nervously unlocked it.

Hi, Lu Han! Thank you for writing me!

Luhan closed his eyes before keeping reading. He wasn’t ready.

I’m glad you remembered me, don’t you worry I’m not mad with you nor for what happened back in high school nor for not realising we met when we were teenagers.

I was thinking, since you recognised me, should I give you a prize? What do you want? A dinner? A soccer match against me?

Let me know :)

XM 

 

Luhan got up from the sofa without saying anything to his flatmate and slowly walked towards his bedroom without lifting his face from the phone.

This was his first and only one chance to impress Xiumin (or Minseok, since Luhan had checked on his old yearbooks the guy’s real name).

He was going to treat Minseok to the nicest restaurant in whole Seoul and give him the best date ever.

 

*

 

Luhan couldn’t help but being disappointed when Minseok told him he preferred a quiet dinner at home, instead an expensive one but he tried not to discourage.

He spent every free moment, cleaning the house and hiding all his Xiumin merchandise (he supposed he was better to hide his obsession since his guest was the one he was obsessed about).

Lay just kept glaring at him shaking his head and making a mess where Luhan had just cleaned (at least according to the elder).

When finally the established day came, Luhan had thought about everything and had organized his flat to make it look as good as he could. He wanted to create an intimate atmosphere without making it look too romantic since he didn’t want to scare Xiumin.

When the doorbell rang, Luhan quickly got up from the sofa and ran towards the door, before opening he fixed his hair and breathed deeply.

On the doorstep there was a small figure, hidden by a hood and glasses. The man quickly walked in and Luhan was left with his mouth open. The time he spent to close the door and follow in Minseok, helped him to start function again and when he reached the other he was able to talk properly and greet the latter.

It was so strange having a celebrity sitting on his ugly old coach and suddenly Luhan felt ashamed because, despite all the cleaning, he was sure Minseok was used at seeing much more beautiful houses. Despite this, the elder was complimenting him for his flat, and Luhan appreciated it a lot. This man was as kind as the Xiumin he was used to watching on TV.

As expected, the night started immersed into awkwardness, but Luhan had prepared a list of things to talk about and at soon as he reached the topic “football”, they started to relax, both having found a common passion.

 

It happened too fast, so fast that Luhan couldn’t even realize it. While talking and laughing, the younger soon forgot about Xiumin and he really started to have fun with Minseok. He started to enjoy his time with the man behind the entertainer and to see through the godliness, which surrounded the artist. Yes, he was still perfect to Luhan’s eyes but that kind of perfect who arrives from the knowledge that the other person does have his flaws, but you’re ready to forget about because he’s so nice and kind and funny and pretty. He wondered why he didn’t like him when they were still in high school. They could have been friends since then, if he had given him a possibility back then.

At least he was happy the other didn’t seem to feel resentful towards him and didn’t say anything about how mean Luhan had been to him.

Suddenly it was late, very late and as soon as Luhan saw the time on the clock he couldn’t but rejoice that after his turn at the restaurant Lay was going to spend the night at one of his colleagues' house. He didn’t tell Minseok how late it was because he didn’t want him to leave. At least for one night he wanted to pretend they were friends for real.

 

*

 

When Minseok came back to the dorm it was way later than what he had planned out. All the lights were turned off and no sound could be heard. It’d have been easy to think that there was no one but him, but Minseok knew better. He took off his shoes and went straight into one of the bedroom. He knocked slightly but didn’t wait for an answer before entering. Minseok jumped on the bed

“Did you have fun?” the man under the duvet spoke to him, without rising his eyes from the book he was reading.

“Yeah, it was nice”

The other snorted.

“Yifan, can’t you be a little more supportive?”

Hearing Minseok’s words, the bodyguard closed the book to give his friend his full attention.

“For how many years have I been your best friend? Enough for you to know, I won’t lie to you. Seok, this is a terrible idea. Did you forget how you were when we first met?”

Minseok remembered it, oh he did. How could he not? How could he forget how much he hated himself, how lonely he was and how he couldn’t believe someone wanted to be his friend?

“This time it’s different. He changed. I think he can make it up for the past”

 

*

 

It didn’t take long before Luhan could say Minseok for real was his friends. Luhan blessed Lay’s deadly work hours because Minseok was almost always at his home. Even when he wasn’t there Luhan could see him everywhere; in the new moka pot, in the Arsenal scarf near his ManU one, in the hoodie he forgot there a couple of day before.

They had spent so many nights watching movies and soccer matches that the younger had lost count of them. Sometimes Yixing joined them too and Luhan was glad his two friends got along immediately.

Everything was perfect, well, almost perfect. Despite trying, Luhan hadn’t been able to get rid of unpleasant feeling that started bothering. He wasn’t happy with just being the other’s friend. He wanted more. He knew he was egoist and arrogant and that he should have been happy just because he had the chance to befriend his favourite celebrity, but the need was just too strong. He knew that if he kept acting that way Minseok would have started to think about him just as a friend and Luhan didn’t want that. From the start he knew that what he felt for the other was very different from what he felt for Yixing and his other friends and now that he had finally met him in real life, his feelings appeared clearer in front of his eyes.

He decided to act slowly, so that even Minseok wouldn’t have been able to notice the changes. He started by inviting him out for dinner somewhere not very fancy or romantic, like a simple fast food. After a couple of meals made of hamburger and fries, Luhan started to take Minseok out for dinner regularly and every time he choose a fancier restaurant than the previous one. One night he also dared to pay the bill for the both of them instead of splitting it.

Hanging out like that was nice, even if the older had to cover himself not to be recognised. Luhan felt like they were a real couple and this wasn’t very smart of him since it was even harder to remember they weren’t one and he still had to work in order to make it possible.

Minseok was a very busy person, but whenever he had a free moment, Luhan was waiting for him and quickly nice restaurants weren’t the only places where they met. The younger started to suggest that maybe they could go to the stadium or to drink coffee in a cozy shop. The other never said no.

If Minseok noticed that Luhan started to choose places full of cute couples, he didn’t say anything.

It was almost all perfect and Luhan was ready to take a step forward in the relationship, but there was one thing who stopped him. Minseok's bodyguard.

As expect, as soon as they started to go out instead of staying on the couch at home, the man had to join them.

He didn’t look like a bodyguard, since his clothes were pretty casual, but his mere presence was enough to intimidate everyone but Minseok and Joonmyun, the entertainer’s manager that Luhan had met a couple of time. Luhan had never seen him smiling or even just his bitch face softening. A lot of times, actually the Chinese man had the impression the other hated him, even if he could not understand why.

Luhan started to think that maybe Minseok wasn’t available, that maybe the handsome giant man had his heart.

It wasn’t unlikely and for sure they would have been a better couple than the two of them.

Things weren’t going according to his plans and he expected that the situation could only worsen.

 

*

 

Luhan had just finished a two hours of training with a bunch of screaming kids and now was running alone around the field, trying not to think about the things that always occupied his mind (aka Minseok).

It was around 8pm but it wasn’t a problem since he had nothing to do. The music in his ears was loud and he had to fight the urge to sing at the top of his lungs. The vibration of his phone hold by the armband interrupted his concentration but he decided to ignore it and keep running.

His t-shirt was soaked of sweat when he finally stopped. While drinking a bottle of water, he decided to check his phone.

“Han, we finished filming sooner than the expectation. Meet me?”

Quickly Luhan composed the other’s number, hoping that he didn’t find anything better to do meanwhile.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t answer you, but I’m at the field and I was running. Give me ten minutes and I’ll be home”

Luhan voice was trembling since he was still catching his breath, but the other easily understood everything.

“Oh, don’t you worry! Wait, you’re at the field? Don’t move, I’m coming there. I bet that this time you’ll be the one learning how to play football!”

Grinning Luhan said good bye to him and run to turn on the field’s light. That was going to be an interesting night.

 

*

 

When Minseok told Luhan to wait for him in the field, he didn’t immediately realized what he had just done. He wasn’t sure he was ready to meet the other there. Not when a soccer field hold on so many old memories and they were very unpleasant ones.

It was a nice day and the lessons had finished a couple of hours before. Minseok’s football uniform was spotless and his new shoes were so pretty. He looked cool (or at least he thought he did). The school field was empty but he wasn’t worried, after all Luhan was pretty popular and he had a lot of things to do.

He ran a little bit just to warm up, but after 20 minutes of waiting, he simply decided to sit on one of the benches. When Luhan finally showed up, he wasn’t alone. Minseok involuntarily tensed, but soon he tried to be as relaxed as he could.

As soon as Luhan was close enough, he spoke.

“Oh, Kim Minseok! You waited for me! I’m sorry I’m late. But look at you! These clothes really fit you!” Luhan was smiling and Minseok couldn’t help but blushing.

“What I wanted to say to you is…do you want to go out with me?”

Minseok stood there frozen as he tried to say yes.

The younger was still smiling, but now it was a strange smile, different from the one Minseok knew from their chat after school.

Minseok noticed that there were other people near the field and he soon recognized them as Luhan’s friends. They were grinning too.

Luhan turned towards them

“He said it weakly, but he said it. I won, sorry guys”

Minseok didn’t understand. He knew that Luhan was out of his league, but when the younger approached him and they started to spend time together he thought he had a chance. He wished he had.

Apparently he actually never had one.

Minseok turned and started to run away from the laughing. 

 

He wasn’t ready to meet Luhan at a soccer field, but due to his stupidity now he had.

 

*

 

Fifteen minutes after the call, the Chinese man spotted a small figure walking towards the field and he couldn’t help but smile when he realized, it was Minseok alone. His friend was wearing a red soccer uniform and his hair was styled in a small ponytail on the top of his head. Luhan had to force himself not to coo at how cute he was. Instead of telling him how pretty he was dressed like that, Luhan threw his friend the ball and the other caught it with his hands, letting the bag he was carrying fall on the grass.

The younger ran toward him laughing and when he was close enough, he said “How is it that you’re here alone? Where are your guardians?”

 

Minseok shrugged “They have a free night. Today is their anniversary”

Luhan’s jaw hanged open for almost one minute. “ARE THEY TOGHETER?”

Minseok shrugged. “I thought it was evident. Kris and Joonmyun had been dating for years”

“I—I thought that you and Kris…I thought the two of them..”

The older didn’t let him finish the sentence and started laughing very hard. Luhan felt his chest way lighter after knowing this and took advantage of his friend distraction to steal the ball from his hands and started running while kicking it.

Minseok soon followed, protesting because starting like that was against the rules.

 

Soccer had always tasted like freedom to Minseok and running under the night sky was even better than usual. The air started to became colder but the both of them were so busy playing that didn’t realized that.

When they finally stopped and Luhan noticed that Minseok shivered, he decided that it was the right time to come back home.

They sat on one of the benches to catch their breath and to drink some water.

Luhan gave the bottle to Minseok and he couldn’t help but admiring his friend. Even when doing something so normal like drinking, he was so beautiful. When Minseok noticed the other’s stares, his eyes widened but while putting down the bottle he was smiling.

Damn, he was so utterly perfect and they were there alone and Luhan really really wanted to kiss him.

Luhan was so immersed in his thoughts that he didn’t even realized that the other was moving closer to him. When he felt Minseok soft lips against his, he lost a few seconds thinking if the other had just read his mind, but soon the only thing left in his mind was the other’s taste. He was so lost he wasn’t even able to kiss him properly but just kept moving his lips as he wanted to devour the elder. He was going to worry later whenever Minseok was enjoying it as much as himself.

Luhan just hoped this hadn’t been a onetime thing. At least he could say Minseok didn’t kiss him because he was drunk.

 

*

 

When Minseok came back to his apartment Yifan, wasn’t there as expected, but he could easily imagine him saying “You’re playing with fire and if you don’t stop you are going to get burned”

 

*

 

Luhan was sure Minseok liked their first kiss as much as he did, since every time they met, the other never lost a single moment before pressing their lips together.

Luhan stopped organizing nice dates for the two of them, but he didn’t care anymore. Not when he could spend his evening laying on his couch with Minseok in his arms, slowly kissing him. The only times they weren’t kissing were when Yixing was present, and just because Minseok would have been too embarrassed, but it was too hard for Luhan to restrain himself.

They had never spoken about their relationship, but Luhan thought that he could easily address himself as “Xiumin’s boyfriend”. He was sure he was spending more time with entertainer than his manager and his bodyguard were doing. He didn’t even care he had never seen his boyfriend house, after all he always get to have a vip pass for the backstage and, of course, also to kiss the artist as soon as they were alone.

But it wasn’t always easy, not when Luhan was a normal people and Xiumin was seen as a prince by every Korean citizen. But he knew that everything was worth it. Everything was worth it if he could have Minseok by his side.

He was so painful seeing the other saying he was single and hearing rumours about his flirts, but Luhan was strong, so strong that he didn’t need to have everyone knowing about his relationship.

 

Or maybe he needed it and he wasn’t strong at all. And he understood it in the worse moment ever: when he was out with his friend and there was way too much alcohol in his blood.

While Yixing and the others were laughing peacefully about this and that topic, Luhan’s thoughts slowly shifted towards Minseok and suddenly he was brooding about their relationship and about how much he wanted to claim his lover as his.

Without realizing it, Luhan was left behind while the other were walking down the street, while he was dialling a number on his phone. A sleepy voice answered

“Luhan, it’s 2 am! What’s wrong? Did something bad happened?”

The younger promptly answered “You have to come out, everybody needs to know about our love!”

There was a silent break at the other end and then Minseok simply said “Luhan, you are drunk. Go to bed”

Luhan felt rage rising inside of him

“No. we have to do this. If you don’t reveal our relationship. I will.”

Minseok didn’t answer but ended the call.

 

When the next morning the Chinese man woke up, his hangover was the smallest of his problem, as soon as he remembered what he had said to his beloved one.

As soon as he picked up enough courage, he dialled Minseok number like the previous night, but for a completely different purpose: he needed to apologize a lot.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it, I was drunk and---“

“Save the breath, Luhan. He doesn’t want to speak with you”

“Oh, Yifan”

“It’s Kris to you”

“Okay, Kris then, can you please please give Minseok the phone”

Luhan heard him singing deeply.

“Listen, he told me he won’t speak to you at any cost so I can’t. And I can understand why, I mean, after what you told him it’s not a surprise”

 

Luhan spotted a reproach hidden into the other’s words. He interrupted him

“Did they told you?”

“He tells me everything” Yifan answered coldly “ He won’t speak to you right now, but give him some time to think and he will. Don’t stress him and keep calling because, I know him better than you, and therefore I know it’ll worsen your situation”

Resigned, Luhan thanked him for the advice and ended the call. His life was going to be a living hell without the possibility to talk to his precious love.

 

*

 

As he waited for Minseok to come along, Luhan immersed himself into his job since every empty moment was too much to bear and he constantly risked drowning into his own thoughts.

He couldn’t help but think that he had ruined everything and that Minseok must have understood that he wasn’t such a good catch and he could find someone better.

Even Yixing wasn’t able to improve his mood and into their apartment the atmosphere was tense and suffocating.

When a week after the accident Luhan received a message from Minseok, it felt like a breath of fresh air and he couldn’t help but starting running with the kids he was teaching to since he was so happy that it felt impossible to stay still.

 

When that night Minseok ringed the bell of his house and the younger saw him on the doorstep, he wanted to hug the hell out of him, but he knew it wouldn’t have been a good move.

As soon as they were both inside of Luhan’s living room, they immediately said at the same time “Sorry” and laughed awkwardly.

The younger slowly shook his head “No, you don’t have to be sorry. I have to. I’m so sorry for telling you such a thing and for making you think I was going to blackmail you”

Minseok started to shake his heads along with his hands “No, no! You have every right to be pissed off. We have to hide and it’s all my fault! But I can’t come out right now or I’ll lose everything!”

 

Luhan noticed that the other was starting to panic, so he quickly take Minseok’s head into his head and tried to kiss his cheeks even if it was difficult since his boyfriend was moving too much. As soon as the older realized what the other was trying to do he stopped and stood still for a moment, before starting giggling and letting Luhan leave pecks all over his face. When finally Luhan decided that it was about time to give Minseok’s lips his attention, the first kisses were still light and playful but not long after the pace became more slowly and the kisses deeper. Soon Minseok’s hands found their way under the other shirt and it was hard for Luhan not to moan when just the other’s touch was enough to make his skin burn.

Slowly Minseok took a step back and looked his lover in the eyes as if he was asking for permission; with a small nod, Luhan gave him his consent. The older started to unbutton the other’s shirt, his mouth still near Luhan’s one as their breathes mingled together. His fingers were moving painfully slowly but maybe it was better that way. The younger still had to understand what was going, since it felt so surreal that he couldn’t believe it was really happening, after all the times he had imagined it.

For a moment, Luhan remembered when his hate for Minseok started back in high school. He was in the janitor’s closed with, the soccer team’s captain who was dating that cute cheerlead one. The both of them were almost completely naked and the chubby hamster that his current boyfriend was back then had opened the door. Minseok could have ruined their reputation but instead he let Luhan ruin his. The younger thanked everyday for his boyfriend to be so nice and forgiving, because in his shoes he didn’t know if he would have been as understanding as him.

 

*

 

When Luhan woke up the sheets of his bed were crumpled and the sunlight reached the room despite the thick curtains.

It took him 2 seconds to realize that he was alone in his bed and start to panic.

He knew Minseok wasn’t the kind of guy to simply leave, but he wished to wake up with him and he hated the image of his boyfriend running away alone at the first hint of dawn.

He got up and picked up a pair of boxer from the floor. When he reached the kitchen, he almost let go a scream since he expect it to be empty, but actually it wasn’t. Minseok managed to set the table and prepare an excellent breakfast. The younger turned as he heard Luhan’s step and turned towards him, looking almost worried.

“Was I too noisy? Did I wake you up?”

Luhan reached him and left a peck on his cheeks. “Don’t worry, I didn’t hear anything”

Minseok smiled and Luhan felt so happy his heart could explode.

 

*

 

The first two times Minseok didn’t answer the phone, Luhan didn’t worry. It wasn’t the first time it happened and his boyfriend was always so busy. He actually started to feel anxious after three day without hearing nothing from him. He didn’t know if he had done something wrong and he couldn’t understand why the other didn’t contact him after their first night together. He couldn’t think about a single reason why the other was ignoring him like that. He didn't want to believe he was acting that way as revenge for what happened back in high school.

He left as many messages as he could without looking like a stalker or a psycho. At least he knew the other wasn’t dead or something since his face was still on every news paper.

Luhan couldn’t understand what was going on; he felt lost, so lost he couldn’t even think properly. He didn’t understand Minseok’s behaviour and every day without him was almost unbearable. He started to wonder if he had imagined it all, but Yixing assured him that wasn’t the case.

It took him ten days to decide to buy the ticket for a show where Xiumin was one of the hosts. The ticket was so expensive that it almost emptied his bank account, but it would have been worth it if he could understand why the other was avoiding him.

His seat was right in the first raw and it felt like someone had crushed his heart when Xiumin entered into the room and looked at him with empty eyes, like he had never met him before.

Luhan didn’t hear a thing of what the Mc and Xiumin was saying, too focused on his mission.

As soon as the commercial break was announced, Luhan promptly sneaked towards the backstage. He didn’t have a pass and there was no way he could reach his now ex-boyfriend. Minseok was just a few steps away from him and didn’t deign to even look at him. He noticed that Suho spotted him and widened his eyes but pretended not to recognize him. Only Kris acknowledge his presence by simply shaking his head and Luhan understood there was no hope anymore.

When he came back to his chair, a staff woman he never met before gave Luhan a note and bowing dissapeared in the backstage again.

“I won. M.” 

 

*

 

Honestly, it could have been harder for Luhan to move on, but deeply inside he knew this was going to happened one day or another. He was grateful he had a chance to meet and date his number one celebrity crush, even if he broke his heart.

He called his boss and told him he was going to be ill for the next week and he closed himself into his room.

The first couple of days all he could do was crying and crying, but soon he ran out of tears and simply spent his time looking at the ceiling and cursing at himself for being such an asshole back in high school. After Minseok had found him with his lover, there hadn’t be a day when Luhan hadn’t mocked him in front of everyone (of course, with the exception of when he pretended he liked him)

Some moments he was so mad at Minseok but after few minutes all the rage was direct to himself. He couldn’t really hate the other after all, he never could.

After a couple of days Yixing stopped to try to get him out of his room but he constantly checked on him and was so relieved when after 8 days Luhan exited from his bedroom, with red eyes and a shaking smile on his lips.

 

One month after the last time Luhan saw Minseok at that tv show, no one would have said he looked heartbroken. Everything had returned as it was before the opening where the Chinese man met the entertainment and it was evident Luhan had moved on (after all he was always very careful not to hear when he cried himself to sleep).

It was almost a shock to the soccer teacher when he saw a tall man looking him from afar, as he was showing to a groups of kids how to perform a penalty kick.

Kris was waiting at the edge of the field and Luhan gave the children enough instructions so they could keep working as he reached the bodyguard.

“What the hell do you want?! I’m trying to work here!”

“Calm down, if I didn’t really need your help I would not be here” the other answered.

For a moment, Luhan couldn’t help but worrying about Minseok, before he remembered it wasn’t one of his problems anymore.

“Well, I do not care”

Luhan was turning, ready to go back to the team but Kris spoke again

“Listen, I don’t like you and I never will. Minseok, he… what he did to you it’s wrong and I’ve tried to convince him to change his mind but he wouldn’t listen to me. I think you could be helpful, for once”

 

Luhan turned to face the bodyguard again

“You knew it and didn’t stop him?”

Yifan scoffed “I didn’t know about this stupid revenge plan or I’d have stop him. I’ve understood everything when he started ignoring you. It’s just that since this mess happened I can’t recognize him anymore. He’s always angry and I fear he’s going to do something stupid. I think I miss you. I’m sure he liked you a lot”

Luhan laughed but there was no fun in it. “He liked me? Well, sure he has a weird way to show it. I don’t care about him anymore. I moved on”

Kris hissed through clenched teeth “I should have expected you didn’t really care about him. You didn’t change since high school.”

 

*

 

For the first time ever, Xiumin’s pretty smile wasn't associated with praises and kind words on newspapers.

Every magazine reported a different version of the story but the focal point was always the same: the entertainer had a problem with alcohol. Some articles said he had arrived to film TV shows smelling like soju; other even suggested that they had to stop filming because he had to run into the bathroom to puke. Everyone was shocked about the news because he really didn't look like the type and no one would have expected something like this from him.

Luhan didn't want to buy a copy of every magazine which said something about him, but he thought that there were going to be less issues where people could read lies about the man he once liked.

He waited three days.

He tried to ignore the magazine sprawled on the coffee table. He didn't want to read them, but from time to time he slowly walked to the small living room to check if they were still there. He endured three days before spending the night reading all of them.

The next morning at 8am o'clock, he was in front of Xiumin’s labels and was telling impatiently to the receptionist that he had to speak to Wu Yifan.

The girl asked him to wait there and when she came back, she walked with him down a long hallway. She stopped in front of a door and Luhan could read Kim Joonmyun written in golden letter on the wood. She knocked and left Luhan there.

When the Chinese man slowly opened the door, he was greeted by the sight of the bodyguard sitting on one of the armchair of his boyfriend's office. He didn't look surprised to see him there.

“Is it true?” Luhan asked looking him in the eye.

“I told you he wasn't having a great time. What did you expected? A lot of things reported by magazines are false, but there’s some truth in it”

“I need to meet him” Luhan said resolutely and the other sighed but started to wrote something on a sticky note without protesting. Before giving the piece of paper to Luhan, Yifan watched him in the eyes and deadly seriously said

“He's not only my boss, he’s also my best friend. I trust you, but if you worse the situation you'll wish you would have never meet me or him. You don’t know how he was when we met. I was the one who helped him to believe in himself, to start working out and change his life and I won’t let you ruin him again”

 

When Minseok found Luhan on his doorstep, he didn't tried to close the door nor to call the building’s security service. He simply stepped aside letting the other in. Luhan entered into the apartment and removed his shoes, before following the other into the living room.

“Do you want some coffee to drink?”

“Yes, thank you” Luhan answered him but after a few seconds, he added “But I bet you would prefer something stronger, am I wrong?” Luhan didn't want to sounds so bitter but the words left his mouth before he could stop them.

“If you are here to give me a lecture, you can leave" Now Minseok was getting angry. Perfect.

“I'm not here to fight. I'm here to check on you” he couldn't hide the irritation in his voice, even if he tried to keep calm.

Minseok answer sounded cold, as if the entertainer was mocking him and wanted to hurt him even more.

 

“And why? I thought it was clear you were just a bet for me, like I had been for you when we were younger. Plus I don’t need you to take care of me”

Luhan sat on the sofa, rubbing his temples. He couldn't even hide the sadness anymore.

“Minseok, I grew up. Maybe you should too”

Minseok answered through his teeth, like a growling dog “How can I forgive you when you make my high school years a living hell? When you destroyed my self-esteem and made me believe I was worth less than nothing? It took me years to improve, years!”

Luhan raised slightly his voice

 

“And I'm so sorry! How many times do I have to tell you this? I'll live regretting treating you like that forever but you should move on for yourself because this spite is destroying you. I stopped hanging out with those bullies and I tried to become a better person. If I was able to change you can do that too”

“Can you please leave?” Minseok’s voice was shaking. He was trying to hide it but those few words had been able to touch him.

Luhan didn’t want to leave, not now that finally he got a reaction from the other. They need to speak about this until there was nothing left to say. He needed to solve this situation.

 

When Luhan didn't even get up from the couch, the other screamed

 

“Leave now!”

 

The younger got up immediately and left the room murmuring something that sounded a lot like he was doing a mistake and he was going to regret it.

Minseok stood still and didn't walk with the other to the door.

When Luhan reached the hall, he opened the door without putting his shoes on since he was too upset to think properly. As soon as he realised the mistake, he closes the door again and opened the shoe rack looking for his ones.  
He hadn't even started to put them on that Luhan heard a hollow sound of something dropping on the floor and the air was filled by sobs.

Luhan slowly made his way to the living room again, just to find Minseok curled on the floor crying.

“Why are you crying?” He asked wit still a bit of irritation in his voice.

The other didn't answer but looked at him with a tear-stained face.

 

Luhan tried to keep calm even if it was difficult since he really didn't know what to do. This was the man who broke his heart and caused him such a pain, but it was also the man he once was in love with and probably he still was.  
Even if his head was telling him to leave, he didn't have the heart to do it. So he knelled near the crying guy, caressing him sweetly. He knew that Minseok had never been good with words and feelings so he didn’t push it when he realized the other didn’t feel like talking.

Luhan helped the other to get up and sit on the couch without letting him go not even for a second.

The younger’s hand was almost numb when finally Minseok stopped crying but he had to wait even more before the other started to speak.

“I already regret everything. I wanted to ask you to forgive me as soon as I realized what I had done but I didn’t know how”

There were so many things Luhan wanted to say, but suddenly he felt so confused and didn’t know if he had to forgive him or not. He had imagined this for so many night but now that the other finally said that, Luhan didn’t know how to answer.

“Can you please forgive me?”

Luhan noticed that Minseok was holding his breath and his whole body was tense, but he still needed a couple of minutes before being able to answer.

“No”

The older removed himself from the other’s arms and looked at him with wide eyes, panicking.

“But eventually I will. We both have to forgive and to move on and I don’t think we can do this while being together. Let’s start over, like we’d never met before. No, don’t look at me like that. I know this isn’t a movie but I think this could work. If we work on it, our relationship can work.”

Minseok opened his mouth one or two times like he had something to say but then he simply nodded, accepting the other’s idea.

The entertainer walked Luhan to the door without saying anything, as if he was still processing what had just happened. Luhan put on his shoes and coat and before leaving, he left a kiss on Minseok’s forehead. He was determinate to make it work. He had to, since he had arrived at the point that he didn’t want to imagine his life without the other. He definitely wasn’t going to lose him another time.

(and it did require a lot of work but between the quarrels, the awkward moments and the fears, they realized that they were ready to face every kind of problem. Sometimes it was hard to remember it, like when gossip magazines reported that Minseok was dating an actress or when Luhan had to spend 3 months in China because his mother was very ill; And contrary to what one might think, as years went by, it was always very tiring for them having to constantly hide their relationship. They also broke up a couple of times, even if it didn’t last for long. It was hard but they bore all of it because everything was worth it as long as they were together)


End file.
